Helplessness

These are proving to be such difficult days. Mat has already gone to Florida. I think he's been there 3 weeks now. We (the kids & I) spent a week & 1/2 in Orlando trying to find a place to live. We came home after being cramped in a 1 bedroom suite still homeless. We found plenty of places, but the rentals are pretty expensive. We are trying to be very reasonable with the cost of our rental. After all, we still own and have to continue paying the mortgage on the house in GA. The house we wanted to rent didn't accept dogs - well, dogs as big as Sydney. So now Mat is alone in Orlando trying to find us a place to live, and I'm alone with the kids in Georgia.

It's tough to be here and so helpless. I'd much rather be in Orlando...not only b/c I LOVE it there but b/c I feel like I have some inkling of control there. I'm sure God will provide. He's provided this far, but it isn't in MY timing. I'm so selfish. I've watched God provide over and over, and I still want/expect more.

So here I am trying to keep myself busy - and the kids too. They are getting lots of sleep. I am not. There's just too much going on in my head to rest. I am excited that Andrew will get to spend more time in school, & he will get to play more t-ball games before we permanently leave.

Some cute notes:

Elizabeth got her first molar. She learned how to say she is 1 by holding up her index finger. She also learned how to say "shhhh" by holding her index finger over her mouth saying shhh. And finally, she learned how to say her name. She calls herself Zeezee. She is a mess. She constantly climbs, and she bites when she doesn't get her way. Today she bit a baby, and then she proudly announced that she "bite, bite bite" nearly yelling it so there was no way to hide her "incident." A lady told me that I need to teach her to use her words...as if THAT is the problem. Moms are so judgmental. Live one day in my shoes, and then you can tell me what I need to do.

Andrew is sooo excited about moving to Orlando. I asked him if he would like me to home school him, and he said "NO" b/c he would miss his friends. What he meant to say was that he was afraid his mommy might kill him by the end of a day of home school. He enjoyed our daily swimming, and I plan to find swimming lessons for him there ASAP. Every day he tells his Daddy to "stay safe...and don't lose your job." He is super scared that Mat will quit working at Disney. It must be the coolest thing in the world to have your superhero dad work at the happiest place on earth. He is a great big brother, but he remains super strong willed. God's got big plans for Andrew. I don't know what they are, but he is going to be one strong man of God. I'm proud of him.

Finally, I'm pretty sure that Mat has his dream job. He's like a little school boy excited to go to work every day. I'm pretty sure he's having an affair with Cinderella (Cindy as he calls her). He claims he isn't into her, but my guess is that he's trying to hide his crush.