Our Family

Our Family

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I Messed Up

Yesterday was a wonderful day all-be-it BUSY!


1. went to swimming lessons for both kids
2. went to they YMCA where Andrew has "gym" class & I ran a 5K for exercise
3. went grocery shopping - ya gotta eat and we R OUT of food around here
4. ate lunch & finally showered & bathed the both kids (isn't it a terrible feeling when you go out dirty)
5. got down to school business while Lizzy napped - yay for no baby distractions
6. kids exercised to P90X with Mat while I made dinner
7. left to go to a homeschool meeting on the other side of town - It was super boring and long and I was already running on E.
8. got home late and crashed with a bowl of ice cream and a TV program

While Mat was taking the babysitter home (a precious girl from our church in a super fun family), I went to look at my sleeping babies. Andrew was curled up in his new Star Wars the Clone Wars bedsheets looking adorable, innocent, and beautiful. I couldn't resist giving him a thousand kisses - something he doesn't enjoy much now that he's getting older. Lizzy was face down struggling to breathe b/c she is teething bad and has a runny nose - her first cold possibly since moving to Florida passed down lovingly from her big brother. I got her up and gave her some meds.

I went back into Andrew's room and relived an incident that happened throughout the day. I shouldn't even share it b/c it will show my ugly heart, but here goes...

We were doing school, and Andrew was doing GREAT! He was learning how to put words together in this little game I made. I put consonants on a card, and I made another stack of cards with ending sounds like at, am, an, ad, ap. He would then match a consonant to the ending sound and read the word. He was doing SO well, that he wanted to read a million words. He was proud of his accomplishment, but he got so tired at the end (after reading like 100 words all by himself) so his mind wandered. I guess I fussed at him b/c the next thing he said was, "Mommy, I really don't like it when you yell at me." Ugh! I got impatient, and instead of putting the game away, I pushed him too hard eventually and clearly doing what he considered yelling. And then to add to the stupidity, I gave him a hug and called a truce instead of saying sorry. What an idiot am I? Seriously, it was an amazing learning experience for him and an opportunity for me to correct my exasperation and I called a "truce?"

First thing this morning, I apologized to him. I explained how he lovingly told me how my yelling made him feel, and I said that instead of calling a truce I should have said I'm sorry.

I love that little boy with all my heart. I need to remember that pure innocent beautiful face that I saw last night when I get angry. I need to remember that I want to be pure innocent and beautiful in God's eyes. That's how he made me to be, and I want my children to see God's love through me. Huge learning experience, and I'm sure it won't be the last.


  1. Isn't it funny that we have to apologize to little people? Talk about humbling. Another friend of mine that homeschools with 7 kids 11 and under including 4 year old twins' her blog is titled "God is using my kids for my personal sanctification" ha ha. seriously though, the kids sure do know how to bring out the best and worst in us, but the lesson here is you passed! you apologized and that was even a better lesson to learn than the word-making.

    sorry the meeting was boring. is there another you plan to try?

  2. so been there! we all do it. i struggle with it everyday. with a 5 year old, a three year old, and a 22 month old it's gonna happen.

    juliet likes to scream at the top of her lungs. i'm so over it! today i shook my finger in her face and said "STOP THAT SCREAMING!" i don't think she'll learn to stop screaming if i'm yelling, too!

    you're a GREAT mama!!